Why me
Why me
Why fucking me.
God damn me.
Fucking shit me.
Why me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me.
Why me
real eyes
i’d leave you,
settling
with the feeling,
of i’d want you back.
but i could never take you.
i hope you could take that.
it’s dreams that let me sleep,
sleep of you.
comfort.
moves one,
i’m less than that.
i hope you realize,
I’m nothing.
when you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, and i would love to have you, and you probably don’t even think of me at all.
this cannot conquer your silence
this is selfish of me,
but i can do it all alone.
need not the wonder,
yet it does persist,
where has my heart gone?
i hate my mother
i stumble in the front door.
i left the two twelve packs of New Castle in the front fridge.
as i reach into the cold front for a beer.
she looks at me.
“god damnit, mom.”
scolding eyes.
“i gave you 700 dollars for the damn electricity i think my broke ass deserves to have a fucking cold beer. you know, after walking 10 miles home from work. cause my breaks are fucking shot, i don’t have gas money, and it’s a long walk with no one to talk to.”
she looks still. “you could have gave me that beer money for the bills.”
i down one. “i’m not giving you the only sanity i fucking have left, and it’s the only thing thats been keeping me together for a while.”
“shut up.” she tells me.
she’s stuck up on men who could never love her as she loves him.
from afar,
so close.
or our distance belittled
to my own dismay.
but may it not be,
in vanity
i dare it not,
the uncomfortable comfort
of your saddening voice,
i know you need someone
i’m glad it to be me,
even though
i know you,
rather have her.
or anyone else.
